The Publicist Page 10

  “We have some new titles in this week; I think you’ll like them.” Maeve led them to the children’s section and Kate followed behind them, surprised again. Children’s books?

  “This is great, Maeve, thanks.” Mac settled into the section, plucking several titles from the shelf.

  “This one is in high demand.” Maeve pulled a thin picture book from the shelf with a smiling tiger on the cover.

  “I wish we did more children’s lit,” he said to Kate, “I mean, look at this.” He handed her the book, but Kate was still confused. What was Mac doing in the children’s section? All sorts of thoughts raced through her mind. He had impregnated a lover and now he was shopping for books? But Maeve made it seem like this was a routine with him. She led him right to the children’s section. Kate was still holding the book when Mac said:

  “Open it and look at it, it’s really amazing. The illustrations are incredible.”

  “Yeah, sure…” she opened the book somewhat tentatively. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d opened a children’s book. The pages were high gloss and colorful. Mac was right, it was beautiful.

  “Oh, dear, you probably don’t care about children’s books that much.” Maeve smiled, touching Kate’s hand, “Let’s find you a section you like. I suspect you’re a women’s literary fiction reader, yes?”

  How could she know? Kate wondered.

  As if reading her mind, the old woman said “A good bookseller knows these things, come with me. Let’s leave Mac to his picture books.” Maeve gently took Kate’s hand and led her through the narrow hallway to a small alcove with a window and three tables. Kate could see it had already started snowing.

  “You just wait here,” Maeve said with a touch of mystery. Kate sat down near the window. Within minutes the woman returned with a stack of books.

  “These aren’t well-known, but I think you’ll love them.” Maeve set down a stack of paperback books in front of Kate, hesitated for a moment and then asked “Have you known Mac for long?”

  “We have worked together for several years.” Kate offered.

  “He’s a heck of a guy. Comes here once a week to buy books for the local children’s hospital.”

  Kate was startled, “I’m sorry… Mac does what?”

  Maeve sat down and looked around to be sure MacDermott wasn’t nearby, “He’d probably rather keep this a secret, but I think these are the things people should be talking about. Not the hate and stealing, but the good things people do. Like our Mac.” She said and patted Kate’s hand. In a lower voice she continued, “Mac has been coming here for years, he buys stacks of books for kids and then drops them at the local children’s hospital. They have a cancer ward nearby that he’s especially good to. He says that children should have happiness and he believes these books will help make them smile.” Maeve’s eyes drifted to the window, “So much illness.” Maeve paused, “I hope he’s right…”

  “Do you have any idea why he does this? I mean has he ever….”

  The old woman cut her off, “…lost anyone to cancer? Not that I know of. I think he just wants to help out and, like most of us, there’s so much to be done, where do you start?”

  Kate had a hard time believing what the woman was saying. She knew Mac was a good person, but she hadn’t pegged him for this kind of philanthropy. The snow fell harder now as Kate contemplated what she’d just learned.

  “He spends two and three hundred dollars a week on books here. Sometimes I think he does it to help me out, too. It’s been a hard time for booksellers, especially with all that electronic crap.” Maeve’s final words left her mouth in disgust, “I mean who would want to read on a machine? You miss the whole experience of feeling a book; she picked a book off of Kate’s stack and opened it, “How is an electronic book better than this? You can’t touch it, or smell it….”

  “Maeve hates all things electronic,” Mac smiled behind her, carrying a huge tower of colorful books, “it took me years to talk her into updating her cash register system.”

  Maeve snorted slightly, “Pfft, I don’t need new electronics, that’s never improved my life at all.”

  Mac set down his stack on an open table, “Maeve doesn’t even like television. Maeve, my love, you are truly a treasure.” He kissed the top of her head and Kate found herself totally drawn into the moment. There was Mac, doting on a sweet old woman who sold books out of a forgotten bookstore. It was a moment so endearing, she hoped it would never end.

  Maeve stood up, “Now, I am going to make you both my famous hot chocolate so you can talk and enjoy this lovely evening.” She disappeared down one of the many rows of books and Mac sat down.

  “Maeve is such a character,” he said to Kate.

  “Mac, I had no idea.” She said softly.

  He frowned, “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about, Katie….perhaps my choice in bookstores has you baffled?” A smile tugged at his mouth.

  “Maeve told me what you do.” She said it almost in a whisper. Mac didn’t respond. “It’s really sweet, Mac. I mean the children…”

  “Oh, that.” He said waving his hand, “We all want to help, this is so minimal.”

  “Not really. She said you’re here every week buying books for these kids, the cancer ward? Mac, that’s incredible dedication.”

  Mac turned to look out the window, “It’s nothing.”

  Kate reached to touch his hand, then pulled back, “It’s not nothing, it’s kind and sweet and an incredible show of character.”

  “It’s not character, Kate, it’s just money. Character is surviving what some of these kids have gone through. The stories would just break your heart…” his voice trailed off and the rest of the sentence caught in his throat.

  Kate could see how emotional he was getting “Why children, Mac? And why the cancer ward?”

  Mac hesitated; this wasn’t a conversation he was used to having, “When I was a kid, my best friend died of cancer. He was twelve. I sat with him till the end. I remember the other kids were afraid of visiting, their parents told them it was contagious. Crazy stuff. My mother had been a nurse and knew better. So, then he died and it never left me. He was only twelve. Who only gets twelve years on earth?”

  Kate’s eyes burned with tears, “I don’t know.” She said and her voice shook. A tear slid down her cheek, then another.

  “I’m sorry, Katie.” Mac’s voice was deep with emotion, “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He lifted a hand to wipe from her face, “You wanted to talk, and instead I bring you here. I thought you’d enjoy it.”

  “I do. I love this place.” Just then Maeve returned with two steaming cups, topped off with a heavy dollop of whipped cream.

  “Here you go, MacDermott, homemade hot chocolate with homemade whipped cream in extra-large mugs. I also brought you a slice of my apple spice bread to share. Fresh from the oven, enjoy, you two.” Then she was gone, vanished in the maze of books.

  “This smells incredible….” Kate lifted her mug and sipped cautiously. The chocolate was rich and creamy; it was the most amazing beverage she’d ever tasted.

  “I don’t know what Maeve puts in this, but it’s absolutely orgasmic.” Mac lifted his cup. “Sorry again. I can’t help but make sexual references when I’m near you.” He said with half a smile.

  Kate sighed; she knew exactly what he meant. Being here with him, learning about this kind, sweet side to him did nothing to help her resolve to never sleep with him again.

  “To tell you the truth,” he smiled, “I bring all girls here, Maeve is a plant. She doesn’t really run this bookstore. She lives on the Upper West Side with her Yorkshire terrier named Snuffy and hasn’t read a book in twenty years. Chicks love this stuff, works every time.”

  Kate smiled, “Maeve said she’s never met any of your friends.”

  “I paid her to say that.”

  Kate wasn’t buying it, “Do you hate so much that people know you’re a good guy?”

  “I’m not a
good guy, Kate. I cheat on my wife. I haven’t been faithful to her in years and I am gutless enough to keep doing it without getting out. I train myself to never fall in love with the women I’m with and when they do, I make sure I’m well off the radar screen.”

  She wasn’t sure how to respond. Mac leaned into her, “I don’t know what to say, Katie. I have broken my rule with you. I never, ever have a relationship with anyone from work. I did once and it didn’t end well.”

  “What happened?”

  “She wanted more, I didn’t. She left MD. That’s all there is.”

  “Why didn’t you want more, Mac? I mean don’t you want that? A whole relationship instead of pieces of a life stolen here and there?”

  Her words shot through him. She was right and he knew it.

  “I do, but I can’t have it. So, I settle for what I can have. Even though I cheat on my wife, I don’t sleep around with the women I’m seeing. I try to have the best relationship I can with them and then when it’s time, we move on.”

  “How do you know it’s time?” Mac could hardly hear her, her voice was low and fraught with emotion.

  “You just know.” He said, “Sort of like we know now. We should really finish our hot chocolate and you should go back to your apartment and I should go to mine. But I can’t do that, I don’t want to do that. I want you to come home with me and I want to hold you and make love with you and then I want to wake up with you.”

  Kate wanted that, too. More than she could even put into words.

  Mac continued, “The smart thing would be to end this. But I’ve never been smart and for whatever reason, I lose every bit of reason I have when I’m in a room with you.”

  Kate spoke, looking down at her cup, “What happens when I fall in love with you? Which I will.” She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in, “Being with you is like dating someone with an unknown expiration date. You know it will end, you just don’t know when.”

  “We will cross that bridge when we come to it,” He offered, “Everything ends, Katie. I learned that years ago when I sat by my twelve-year-old friend and watched him die. Nothing lasts forever.” Mac covered her hand with his, and it made her spine tingle. She needed to be with him right now more than she needed to breathe.

  “I want to take you home so badly,” he smiled, “but I want to enjoy this, too. This quiet, cozy place, just being here with you. Let’s sit here for a while and then you can decide. Whatever you choose, I will understand.” Mac lifted the cup to his lips, still holding her hand.

  They sat there for another hour, just talking and sharing stories. Mac wanted to know what it was like growing up in Arizona. Kate shared stories of blistering hot summers and the always welcome fall. Mac talked about his life, skirting his marriage, but spoke of his sons and how proud he was of them both.

  Finally he said: “We should probably go, Kate, it’s getting late and I’m betting Maeve is ready to lock up.”

  When Kate looked at the time she was shocked that it was almost ten o’clock, “How did it get so late?”

  “Time flies, doesn’t it?” Mac stood up, “You getting these?” He pointed to her stack of books.

  “Honestly, I haven’t even looked through them, but I think I will anyway. She said they’d be perfect for me and I have a feeling she’s right.”

  “Maeve usually is.” Mac picked up his stack of books and she followed him to the register.

  Maeve appeared from the back room, “You two ready to go?” she smiled, “No rush here, I’ll stay open as long as you want, though it’s getting nasty out there.”

  Neither of them had noticed that the snow was falling hard now.

  “I was going to suggest taking a cab,” Mac pulled out his wallet to pay for his books, “but I think a subway will be safer.”

  They walked through the falling snow to the subway stop, and then descended into the subway tunnel.

  “We’ll take the R train,” Mac suggested, “It stops in the Village, so it’ll take you anywhere you need to go.”

  Kate didn’t respond. She knew that he was giving her an out, not that Kate wanted that per se but it was gallant that he offered. A train finally screeched to a halt in front of them and they got on.

  “What’s your stop?” she asked.

  “Lex and 59th.”

  Kate nodded. With each stop Mac kept expecting her to hop off, but she didn’t. Finally when his stop approached, she got off with him and smiled.

  “First times can always be brushed off as an accident, second times are intentional.” Kate dug her hands deeper in her pockets, smiled, and walked ahead of him up the stairs.

  “You’re sure?” he asked when they emerged onto the street.

  “No, Mac, I’m not sure of anything when I’m around you. But I know this. I know that if I don’t go home with you I’ll spend the rest of the night wishing I had and if I do, I’ll probably spend half a second wishing I hadn’t so I’ve opted for the lesser pain. At least right now, tomorrow be damned.”

  “You really are something, Katie Mitchell.”

  .

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Kate woke up with a problem, she wasn’t sure what she should do. Should she swing her legs out of bed, grab her purse and go? Mac slept beside her, his legs curled around hers. She’d rather stay, but Mac had left right away though that was Friday, and they both had to get to work. She watched him sleep and pondered: to leave or not to leave?

  “Hey, Katie, you look deep in thought.” Mac was watching her, “What’s up? You’re not thinking about leaving, are you?” He threw a strong arm across her shoulders.

  Kate leaned into him, “I wasn’t sure what to do.” She said softly “Well, you should stay and let me make you breakfast.” Mac trailed a finger across her naked breast, “Or we could make love again, that works too, though if we’re voting here, breakfast would come in second.”

  Kate laughed; Mac was always good at making her laugh. And now he was good at other things, too. “I’m actually starving.”

  “You are right, let’s go refuel.” He kissed her gently, then pulled the sheet off his lean, toned body and Kate watched him reach for a t-shirt and shorts, he handed her a robe, “Much as I’d love to watch you walk around my apartment naked.”

  Kate slipped into the robe while her eyes wandered the bedroom. She hadn’t had time to take much of it in when they arrived. It was large enough for a king bed, which wasn’t always the case with a New York apartment. In fact she rented a place once years ago that had a bedroom so small the double bed nearly blocked the door. Manhattan apartments were notoriously small and overpriced, but Mac’s apartment was newer and big, with lots of double paned windows to keep out the noise and the traffic dust. The bedroom was furnished with a slight Asian flair, clean lines, minimal but expensive furnishings, and lots and lots of space. I could get used to this, she thought, as she realized that her entire apartment could fit in his bedroom.

  The living room was spacious with heavy, overstuffed burgundy leather couches, and big windows. It was comfortable and neat without being stuffy. There was a fireplace and a smaller dining room that was connected to the kitchen by a breakfast bar. Kate noticed picture frames but was almost afraid to look and see who was in them, but when she got closer, she couldn’t help herself. She almost breathed a sigh of relief, Mac and his boys, Mac and his dad who had passed away two years before. His mother who died before Kate met him. All of this life behind the man, this personal side of him she’d wondered about but never knew. She was glad there were no pictures of Carolyn; she didn’t need to see her right now. Seeing pictures of his wife right now would break the spell.

  “My boys are coming next weekend,” he almost read her mind. “Coffee?”

  Kate nodded, “Do you see them much?”

  “Not as often as I’d like to now that they’re in college, but we’re close and I’m grateful for that.”

  Kate sat on a bar stool at the breakfast counter and watched Ma
c cook. He grabbed eggs, cheese, mushrooms, and some tomatoes and started mixing them all together. It had been a while since someone had cooked for her.

  “So what’s on tap for today, Kate?” Mac smiled over his shoulder at her.

  “Well, I need to go see Allan and give him Edward’s agreement.”

  “You have to do that today?” he asked.

  “Yeah, well, Edward seemed keen on getting this ‘wrapped up by Monday’,” she said, her voice slightly mocking. Mac flipped the omelet; it was the most perfect omelet she’d ever seen.

  “Right,” he turned to her, handing her a steaming mug of coffee, “I was hoping we could spend the day together.”

  At first Kate didn’t know what to say. Mac smiled.

  “It’s okay, Katie, we can do that.”

  “I just…didn’t, I thought…”

  Mac came around the bar, turned her stool to face him, “….that since we’re having an affair we can’t spend daylight hours together?”

  Kate nodded.

  “You’re probably right, maybe we shouldn’t, but I want to and God knows how impulsive I can be when I’m around you.” Mac ran a finger across her lips.

  “But aren’t you worried about…?”

  “About what? Being seen? It’s always on my mind.” He looked away for a minute, almost embarrassed by the thought. “So, how about we have breakfast, you go see Allan, and then come back here and we’ll go do something.”

  “What did you have in mind?” Her lips tugged at the corners.

  “Not sexual. Let’s see if we can spend twenty minutes together without ripping each other’s clothes off.”

  “We did last night,” she offered, thinking back to Maeve’s cozy bookstore.

  “Right. See?” he smiled as he walked back into the kitchen. “We have the ability to be around one another without being naked, but let’s not make it a habit, ok? I love making love to you….” Mac slid the omelet onto a plate and handed it to her, Kate’s cheeks were red. “You’re blushing, keep it up and I’ll really give you something to blush about.”