The Publicist Page 13

  “Kate, I am so grateful,” Janet came over, her eyes welling up with tears, “so many books, so many new readers and all because of you. You are the most amazing publicist in the world.”

  “I wholeheartedly agree.” Mac smiled behind them.

  Janet looked over Kate’s shoulder, smiling at Mac, “It’s nice to see you MacDermott, how are you?”

  “Trying to survive in publishing is never easy, but I wanted to come by and see our big superstar. Congratulations on a fantastic event.” Mac reached out to shake her hand. In true Janet fashion, she hugged him instead. Mac knew instantly why Kate was so fond of her.

  “I should be going,” Janet sighed, clearly not wanting the day to end, “Piper said she was sending a whole bunch of her CDs to my grandkids. They just aren’t going to believe this.”

  Kate put an arm around Janet, “You did great, there’s a car waiting for you to take you to your hotel.”

  “Thanks again, Kate.” Janet grasped her hand and then left the bookstore, which was still recovering from the event. Some media were still there, lingering and interviewing fans and Kate could hear the phones still ringing off the hook. Piper Maru left a lot of activity in her wake.

  “Come on. Let’s go have dinner.” Mac rested a hand on the small of her back, gently pushing her forward. The gesture left her breathless.

  God help me, she thought as they left the store.

  They dined at Café Mogador in the East Village, which Mac knew was one of Kate’s favorites. They were seated at a small table near the window. The light snow that started when they left the store turned heavier now.

  “They say we might get six inches tonight,” Mac observed after they ordered.

  Kate sipped her wine, “It might be tough to get out of the city tomorrow. You sure you want to wait?”

  Mac brushed her hand, avoiding a solid touch, “I’ll take my chances. If I’m late, the boys will be late, too.” He paused for a moment and held her eyes, “I really am looking forward to seeing them, it always seems like it’s too long between visits.”

  “I can imagine. I haven’t seen my parents in almost a year and with our diet diva and Isla’s book release coming up, I just can’t make it back this year.” Kate’s reference to their big holiday release reminded Mac of the big title he and Kate had coming up. He had been talked into taking this book against his better judgment.

  “I’ll be back on Tuesday, just in time for all of the excitement.” Mac rolled his eyes. They had a big author coming in that week who had, at one point, been somewhat of a celebrity. Mac’s author was nicknamed Skinny Saundra because her email was skinnysaundra, which Mac decided was hideously ridiculous.

  Saundra Temple had once been grossly overweight. She rose to stardom after she dropped nearly two hundred pounds and became a fitness guru in the late 80’s. Saundra also became the queen of the infomercials selling millions of dollars of diet product and fitness tapes. Saundra had ruled the diet market for four years, capturing the attention of every major talk show and even putting a few celebrities through the paces of her diet regime. Then, she disappeared quite suddenly. The infomercials were gone and the product dried up. Rumors circulated that her accountant had been embezzling all of her money, leaving her penniless. After a few years, photos of an obese Saundra started circulating. She was photographed leaving donut shops and Dairy Queens, looking painfully overweight. After the pictures surfaced, she started getting invitations to be on talk shows, to tell the world about her sorrow. Saundra refused all invitations except one. The Dr. Paul show flew her out to Los Angeles for an hour-long program on weight issues. Saundra cried nearly the entire show. She talked about her accountant (who had since been imprisoned) and her struggle to lose the weight.

  This once public weight loss diva admitted on national TV to weighing three hundred and twenty-five pounds.

  In a moment that was captured in millions of Twitter feeds, Paul Chapel put his arm around Saundra, asking her gently, “Do you want to change?” Saundra nodded.

  “Are you ready for a challenge?”

  She looked at Paul, not sure what was coming next.

  “I want you to commit, on the air, just like you had millions of folks do years back, that you will lose the weight and get in shape, and we’re asking America to support you.”

  Dr. Paul cheered on the audience, who all rose to their feet yelling “Go Saundra.”

  Saundra sat in her chair, and cried.

  “Will you do it, Saundra?” Dr. Paul had asked.

  Saundra nodded.

  Paul Chapel stood up, “There you have it, America, she’s committed to the change and we’re going to help her, aren’t we?”

  The entire audience screamed “Yes!” as the show went to commercial.

  “It should be interesting,” Kate smiled.

  “Do you think Piper will be there?” Mac joked.

  “I highly doubt it…” Kate’s voice trailed off as the waiter returned with their meal.

  When the waiter left, Mac said, “I don’t share a room with her, you know.”

  Kate’s fork froze in her salmon. She had wondered about whether Mac and Carolyn slept in the same room, or did anything together for that matter.

  “I’m sorry, Mac. I really am. Your life could have been so different.”

  He nodded and pushed a dab of hummus onto a pita, “It could have been, Kate, but it wasn’t. I’ve long since given up the hope that anything will ever be different.”

  Kate paused before she asked the next question, “Mac, why do you stay?” The question hit him like a cold blast of air and seemed to make him sit up straighter, Kate noticed his mouth tense and he set his fork down.

  “Look,” she spoke up, “I am not asking for me. This isn’t one of ‘those’ conversations. I’m just wondering, as your friend. You drift from woman to woman your entire life, never staying long enough to create something really lasting. Your life could be so much different and I wonder, why not? Is it money? I mean forgive me but that’s usually the reason.”

  Mac had been asked this question before, but it was usually in a pleading conversation. There was often crying and desperation and when this conversation happened, it was time to leave. But Kate’s question was different. She wasn’t pleading or desperate or demanding. She was just asking a pretty simple question. Why did he stay? The answer, the real answer, was not a powerful statement at all. In fact the real answer was not something he had ever wanted to face. But now here he was, with this stunning woman who was making him question everything.

  After a long pause that made Kate wonder if she should have just kept her mouth shut, Mac finally responded, “I told myself for years that it was because of Carolyn’s faith and family, and that was true up to a point. I think that there was a time when a divorce would have devastated her beyond reason.”

  “And now?” she asked.

  “I spent so much time telling myself that that I finally believed it enough to stop looking for the real reason. I’ve lost faith, and probably also my courage. It takes guts to make a big change.”

  “Guts or a strong desire,” she said softly.

  “Mostly guts.” Mac said without smiling. “I think somewhere along the way it all just became easy and I could do this and live this dual life and it became manageable and actually, in some odd sense, reasonable.”

  “They say that people who have lost a limb never stop knowing it’s there. The phantom limb syndrome is what they call it I think. I would imagine the same is true for your life. It’s gone, but you still know it’s there, or was there.”

  “I miss it,” Mac admitted, his voice filled with emotion. “I miss it all.”

  Kate stole some of Mac’s hummus and smiled, deciding it best to shift the conversation to something less emotional, “I think Piper might want to write a book, she mentioned something when she left. I told her to call you. Said you were the best editor in the business.”

  Mac smiled, “You never miss an opportuni
ty, do you?”

  “Well, according to Janet, I am the world’s best publicist.” Kate chewed on her salmon and smiled. Suddenly Mac had the urge to kiss her, but waited. The waiting was often good. Though tonight he wished he didn’t have to.

  When Kate woke the next morning in Mac’s apartment, outside it was still snowing. Mac wasn’t beside her. Sitting up, she looked for a note. Had he gone already? Just then, the door flew open and Mac walked in, carrying a tray of food, a bouquet of flowers and several papers.

  “You made the front page of the Arts section.” He smiled, “You also made the front page of the Post and Page Six, and the Wall Street Journal did a piece on Janet’s signing for their Weekend section.”

  “Mac, you left in this weather, why on earth…..”

  Mac cut her off, “I wanted to get you breakfast, some celebratory flowers and every paper I could get my hands on. It’s a big day in your career, you know.” Mac set down a tray with coffee, juice, and warm croissants.

  “Mac, I don’t know what to say.”

  Mac’s eyes took her in. She had pulled the sheet up around her, but he could see her skin glow and her nipples press through the white sheet.

  “Fame agrees with you.” He smiled, wanting her again. But he knew he couldn’t linger. In an hour he had to be on his train.

  “Fame is fleeting.” Kate bit into a croissant, “You’re so sweet to do this.”

  “I have ulterior motives.” He winked. Leaning in he kissed her. Her lips were wet and warm; he slipped a finger under the sheet and tugged it down, revealing her body. He knew he couldn’t leave. Not yet. His need for her overtook him. Sliding the tray onto the floor, he plucked a rose from the bouquet and slipped a thorn-less stem into her hair. Then he kissed her and felt himself grow hard against her warm skin.

  The apartment was empty. They’d made love and Mac had left in a rush to catch his train. “Stay as long as you want.” He had said over his shoulder as he threw open his front door and swept through it.

  There was no reason to say. Mac was gone. A quick shower then she’d be on her way to her life while Mac sped off to his.

  Connecticut.

  Suddenly she hated the entire state, which wasn’t fair to the state, she knew. But she didn’t care.

  She pointed the showerhead at her body, thinking of Mac as he raced home. She hoped the shower would dull her memory of what had just happened, but even as she toweled off, she could still feel him, kissing her, inside her. Loving her. Only it wasn’t love. It was something else that masqueraded as love but came with an expiration date. Like Greek yogurt. So smooth and yummy. But if you didn’t finish it in a week, it would spoil. She hoped they had a little longer.

  Kate needed to clear her head, but she also didn’t want to be alone. After locking up Mac’s apartment, she headed to see Grace, hoping her friend would be home.

  “Let’s go Christmas shopping!” Kate smiled when Grace opened the door.

  “You know, I think Christmas is just another excuse for commercialism to rule our lives.” Grace stepped back and let her friend walk passed her. “You seem falsely optimistic, what’s up?”

  There was no fooling Grace.

  “I’m fine; I just thought it would be fun. Snow on the ground, Christmas music playing for the tourists. We could go to Macy’s and look at the windows.”

  “It’ll be packed with people from Iowa.” Grace shut the door behind her friend.

  “People from Iowa don’t visit this time of year. Besides what do you have against the heartland?”

  “They all vote Republican.”

  “Gracie, come on, let’s go.”

  “I heard about Piper. Great move.”

  “Thanks, now let’s go.”

  Grace studied her friend for a moment, “There’s something different about you. You’re happy in a way I haven’t seen in a long time. Also, you haven’t returned my calls in a week, now you’re here. Fess up.” Grace sat down on her couch, which was the only place to sit in her apartment, other than two small chairs in her kitchen.

  Kate sat down beside her, “Work has been busy.” She said unconvincingly.

  “You’re glowing. What’s that about?”

  “Nothing, now let’s go.”

  “Mac?” The word hung in the air, reaching out to her. Teasing her for a response.

  “What about him?”

  “Is it Mac, Kate? Is that what’s going on?”

  “No, of course it’s not about Mac.” She lied, “Well, he was at the signing yesterday, if that’s what you mean.”

  Grace was certain something was up, she kept pushing, “Are you sleeping with him?”

  Kate didn’t respond.

  “He’s going to break your heart, Kate.”

  “We just went to dinner.”

  “Stop lying to me.”

  Kate fumbled with the edge of a blanket that was thrown across the top of the couch, “It’s not like that, Grace.”

  Grace took her hand, “It is, exactly like that, Katie. Now tell me what happened.”

  “We just….” To her own surprise, Kate felt herself fill with emotion, “….it happened, and at first I tried to stop it, then I didn’t want to.”

  “It will end, Kate, and when it does, it will hurt so bad you’ll wish you were dead.”

  Kate blinked, “Thanks for the cheer, Grace. Maybe I should just go….” Kate started to stand, Grace grabbed her arm.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so blunt. I have…well, I have some experience with this kind of thing.”

  “You?” Kate was surprised.

  “No, but someone I knew once. I watched her go through this, it wasn’t easy.”

  “I know you’re only trying to be a friend, but….”

  “You love him.”

  It was the first time she’d heard that said, in the context of Mac. The words warmed her and frightened her at the same time. Loving Mac would be the end of all of it, “No,” she insisted, “I like him a lot, and we have fun. It works. For now.”

  Grace sighed; it had already gone too far. She knew that even before Kate did. She would kill Mac if he hurt Kate, which he surely would.

  “Let’s go shopping, Kate. Let’s go see how many tourists we can offend with our rude New Yorker routine.”

  Kate laughed, relieved that Grace dropped the topic of Mac.

  For now.

  .

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  The train swayed on the tracks, the overheated car felt uncomfortable. Mac immediately shed his coat after he boarded. Some trains were running with a slight delay because of the snow, but most were still running on time. He was glad he wouldn’t miss seeing his boys arrive. His thoughts drifted to Carolyn. How long had it been since he’d seen her? Two months? The holidays were always tough. Parties to go to, the festive nature of the holiday inviting family and friends to their home was awkward and Carolyn always liked to keep up appearances with their neighbors. Mac was not looking forward to it. He snapped open the paper and tried not to think about Kate, which was near impossible.

  Kate and Grace spent the afternoon shopping. Though to be exact, Kate shopped and Grace just came along for the ride. Kate was grateful to have her friend there. It kept her mind from drifting too much, wondering what Mac was going to do later that day.

  With his family.

  In Connecticut.

  “Let’s go have tea and warm up,” Grace suggested. “I’m hungry, too.”

  They left Macy’s and headed to a tea house in Chelsea Market. The Market was one of Kate’s favorite places. The tea shop was called Bloom, the name was derived from the flowers they often let bloom in the glass teapots.

  “I’ll get us something,” Grace smiled, “let me surprise you. Go find us a seat, the place is packed today.”

  Kate found a spot by the window, a tiny table tucked in the corner. Her phone buzzed in her purse, she scooped it out and hit the button, assuming it was Mac.

  “Hey…” h
er voice soft and deep.

  “Eh, Kate, this is Nicholas, Allan’s nephew. Look, I, eh, I’m so grateful that you’re so close with my uncle and I wondered if you might have time for lunch tomorrow. I’m in town through Christmas and thought that, well, maybe we could grab a bite.”

  Nicholas sounded awkward. Kate smiled, no doubt Allan had put him up to it. He was forever hopeful that they would end up related somehow.

  “Sure,” she smiled into the phone. She was, after all, single, however oddly so.

  “Great, how about lunch at HanGawi. Have you ever been there?”

  HanGawi was a pricey Vietnamese vegetarian restaurant, one of the best in New York.

  “Not in a while, but I love it. Their ginger tea is amazing.”

  “Yeah,” Nicholas replied, “I try to get there whenever I’m in the city. How about 12:30?”

  “Perfect, see you then.” Kate clicked off just as Grace walked up to the table, carrying two steaming cups of Orange Pekoe.

  “You’ll see who tomorrow? Please tell me it’s not Mac.” Grace scrunched up her nose and set the cups on the table.

  Kate sighed, her friends disgust with the situation wasn’t going to let up, “No, it was Allan’s nephew, Nicholas.”

  Grace sat down, “The hunk you met the other day?”

  “I didn’t call him that.” Kate sipped her tea.

  “You didn’t have to; the description you gave said enough. Is he single?”

  “Yes, but don’t get excited, he lives in California.”

  “He’s still more available than Mac.” She smiled.

  .

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  It was snowing when Kate left her apartment and headed uptown to meet Nicholas. Thick flakes fell from the sky and added a fresh white layer to the snow already on the ground. Part of the problem with snow in the city was that it didn’t last. In a few days all of it would turn to slush. When it did, only ice grey, half-melted mush would be left and trudging through it was always a problem. Kate learned soon after she moved to New York that finding sturdy boots that could take the snow and still look stylish were a must if she was going to survive in a city that had more women with shoe fetishes per capita than any other city in the world. Shoes were a statement in New York, though there were days when she missed her flip-flops.