The Publicist Page 16

“Lu,” Kate almost whispered, “let’s have this talk in private.”

  Lulu nodded, “I forgot, Kate, sorry.”

  Kate smiled and headed to her office. What a show. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Mac hearing Lulu’s gushing about Nick. It hadn’t been intentional, but it had been awkward. Kate thought of Nick. His kiss at the end of the night that had left her tossing and turning for an hour. She knew she was starting to care for Nick, too. But he was leaving soon, back to California.

  “Expiration dating, it’s what I’m good at,” she said aloud.

  “Excuse me?” Mac stood in her doorway, filling it with his frame. She fought the urge to tell him Nick was nothing, just a date. But she knew it wasn’t true, and wasn’t necessary. Mac couldn’t possibly be surprised. Could he?

  Kate fumbled with the papers Lulu had given her, “Nothing.” she sat down, “What’s up?”

  Mac smiled, she was glad she was seated, her knees felt weak, “Dinner. I would love to take you to dinner tonight. We haven’t spent time together since I’ve been back.”

  Kate nodded, “Sure, I’d love that.”

  Mac left, feeling oddly awkward. There was a new dynamic between them. Probably because there was a new man. Mac knew enough about the dynamics of courtship to know that Nick liked Kate. He wondered if Kate returned his feelings.

  The waitress took their order and quietly faded into the background. Mac sipped his wine and watched Kate unfold her napkin.

  “So tell me about Nick,” Mac was almost surprised that he dove right into the inquisition. He’d intended to be more subtle, but somehow he didn’t have the patience for subtlety right now.

  Kate shrugged, remembering Nick’s kiss and feeling a thread of guilt weave through her mind. “He’s Allan’s nephew, nice guy. Runs an organic shop in California.”

  “When’s he going back?” Mac asked. Kate smiled. Mac’s jealously was transparent.

  “Next week, I think,” she responded.

  “You know, you’re free to date whomever you want.” Mac’s words did not match the feeling in his eyes.

  “We’re not dating, Mac.” Kate wasn’t entirely sure that was true, but for whatever reason, she didn’t want to share her uncertainty with Mac.

  Mac wanted to reach across the table and hold her hand, or caress her cheek but he didn’t. He couldn’t. If Nick was here he could have, Mac hated that it made him want to punch someone. Preferably Nick.

  Later at Mac’s apartment, he took great care to explore every inch of her body in a way he hadn’t before. There was an urgency to show her what he was not able to express. He kissed and sucked on her nipples and then dipped two fingers inside her, bringing her to one rocketing orgasm after another. Then, when she was almost totally exhausted, he held her eyes, kissed her gently and slid himself inside her gently rocking her back and forth. He waited till she came again to release himself and when he did, Kate could have sworn he heard a hushed “I love you” escape his lips. But she wasn’t sure and did not ask. Maybe she had just heard her own words echoing in her head.

  .

  Chapter Forty-One

  Allan Lavigne’s funeral was held at the Central Synagogue at Lexington and 55th Street at ten a.m. The synagogue was filled with mourners, including just about everyone from MD. Mac sat near Kate, but not beside her. She was seated in the family row, next to Nick. It did not escape Mac’s eyes that Nick held her hand the entire time.

  Kate got up and gave the eulogy; Mac watched her and realized she’d never looked more beautiful, or more fragile. For a moment he toyed with the idea of not spending time with his family over Christmas and staying here, instead. He knew that was not only impossible, but it would really hurt his sons. He couldn’t do that. There it was again, the choices he made or didn’t make, as the case may be.

  After the funeral there was a small gathering at a local Irish pub Allan loved and where he told Kate he’d written The Fall. There were about seventy-five people there, including several publishing folk, Allan’s agent, and Mac.

  “It’s so lovely that he had such a good friend in you, Kate,” someone said to her. Kate had no idea who she was. Nick was nearby and put an arm around her shoulders.

  “Hi,” he smiled, “I’m Allan’s nephew, Nicholas Lavigne.”

  She held her hand out, “I lived in the building for years, before my husband and I moved out to Westchester, Linda Fort.”

  “Linda, nice to meet you and thanks for coming. I think Uncle Allan would have been surprised that so many people showed up. He never thought he made an impact on the world.”

  Linda shook her head, “Ridiculous to think that, isn’t it? Especially after his book, which I started reading again the other day. I’m so sorry he never wrote again.”

  “I am, too. What a legacy that would have been,” Nick agreed.

  From the other side of the pub, Mac watched them both. He didn’t like where this seemed to be headed, but there wasn’t much he could do to prevent it. Katie was a smart, beautiful, savvy single woman who should be dating someone who could give her more than evenings in bed or dinners in remote restaurants. The woman Kate had been talking to left and Nick whispered something to her then walked off. He headed over.

  “Kate, I’d love to see you after this.”

  Kate was startled to see him beside her, “Hi Mac, it was nice of you to come and stay as long as you have.”

  “Allan made MD what it is; I wish Edward had remembered that.”

  “At least he showed up for the funeral.”

  Mac’s lips formed a straight line, “It’s not the point, he should have done more, gotten up and said a few words, something. He’s probably just pissed now that he spent so much money trying to find a way to get out of Allan’s contract.” Kate’s face fell.

  “I’m sorry, Katie, that was insensitive.”

  “No, you’re right. He’s the insensitive one. Thanks again, Mac.”

  “I’d love to see you tonight, Kate. I leave in the morning….”

  She wanted to see Mac, too. But she didn’t want to leave Nick alone. “I’d love to, Mac, but Nick. He’s alone in the city and today was his uncle’s funeral. I really think I should stick around.”

  Mac felt his throat tighten, “Sure. Of course. Then I guess I’ll see you after the holidays.” His voice lowered, “Merry Christmas, Katie.” For a moment they both remembered the first time he’d said that to her, it was the night he kissed her in Battery Park. She wanted to reach up and grab him and kiss him. But of course, she couldn’t.

  “Merry Christmas, Mac.”

  Mac turned to leave. Outside the snow was falling again. He would be alone tonight and he hated being alone. He’d planned this whole evening with Kate, something to lighten her mood, even if only slightly. Now someone else would be with her, maybe making her smile, making her feel better.

  He hated that.

  .

  Chapter Forty-Two

  “What are you doing on Christmas?” Kate asked.

  “Well, nothing.” Nick sipped his organic coffee, “I suppose going through Uncle’s apartment. I heard from the lawyer by the way, he has the will, we’ll go through it after Christmas.”

  “Great, that’s great. Well, not really, I’d rather…”

  Nick covered her hand with his, “I know.” The café they were seated at was bustling with crowds, mostly tourists. Christmas was always a popular time in New York.

  Then it occurred to her, “I have an idea.”

  Nick smiled, “What’s that?”

  “Let’s spend Christmas like a tourist, which you are, sort of. We can do all of the things that visitors come here for. Rockefeller Center, Central Park, all of it. I haven’t done this stuff in years, it’ll be fun.”

  “I’d love to, Kate.” And leaned over and kissed her. It was the first time they’d kissed since the other night. Kate wasn’t sure he was really interested or if the kiss had been a mistake. “But don’t you have family you’d rather spend
it with?”

  “Allan was the only family I had in the city, and some friends, my best friend Grace, but we can stop by there and you can meet her.”

  On Christmas they spent the day wandering the city, walking under the bright sunshine. It was a perfect, cold day in New York and the streets were packed with tourists and locals. Sounds and sights of Christmas were everywhere. At some point during the day Mac sent her a Merry Christmas text, to which she responded right away. She missed him, though she loved spending time with Nick. Confused didn’t even begin to describe how she felt.

  “So when do you head home?” she asked as they wandered through Central Park sipping their hot chocolate.

  “End of next week, I have to get back to the stores. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do with Uncle Allan’s apartment. Rentals in this town are awful, I might just sell it.”

  Kate nodded. Nick put his arm around her, “I know it’s hard.”

  They walked together in silence.

  “Kate, I hate to do this on Christmas but I need to drop by Uncle Allan’s apartment. Do you mind? I have some documents I need to grab and fax to the accountant so he can finish up some final paperwork before I send it to the attorney. He promised to look at this over the weekend.”

  She nodded, “Sure.” She remembered they had planned to be there on Christmas with Allan. The thought made her sad.

  Allan’s apartment was lonely and dark, she hated going there now. It reminded her of Allan’s lonely life. She wished she could have done more.

  “I’ll be just a minute,” Nick said and vanished into his uncle’s office.

  Kate sat at the large table, remembering other Christmases spent with Allan. She always asked him why he celebrated Christmas if he was Jewish. “I finally gave in to commercialism,” he would tell her, and she’d laugh.

  Nick emerged from the room, looking a little flustered. He held something in his hand, a small, letter-sized box.

  “Is everything okay, Nick?” she asked.

  “Kate, I found this earlier. It’s got your name on it.”

  He set the box down in front of her. Kate lifted the top of it. It was a stack of typed pages with an envelope on top, addressed to her. She opened it.

  My dearest Katie,

  If you’re reading this, then I’ve died and I want to say I miss you very much. You were a dear friend to me, I don’t know how I would have gotten through the lonely times without your love and caring.

  I wanted to give you one last gift, a piece of me that no one else has. My final book. I wrote it, even though I said I wasn’t. I think it’s good, I think it will leave a solid legacy and, perhaps, give you that career boost you so deserve. I would ask one thing, don’t let my publisher get their hands on this book. They’ll ruin it. I know you’ll take good care of it. It is my gift to you, for all the times you cared for me, bought me food and made sure I was never lonely.

  I love you, Katie. Be happy. Always, Allan

  Kate started to cry and handed the note to Nick.

  “I was going through another box,” he seemed to stumble over his sentence, not sure what he’d dug up.

  Kate gently lifted the pages from the box and started reading, tears still falling from her eyes.

  “Would you hand me that box of Kleenex?” she asked.

  Kate couldn’t believe what she was reading. It was, indeed, brilliant. He’d done it. Allan had written a second book.

  “Kate, let’s go. Let’s read this somewhere, somewhere else.” He was right, it was too sad for her to be reading Allan’s final words in his apartment.

  “Ok, sure. Let’s go to my place, it’s just a few blocks from here.”

  Nick covered the box with the lid, which had been marked with Kate’s name.

  .

  Chapter Forty-Three

  At her apartment, Kate poured them some wine and she kept reading, handing Nick pages as she finished.

  “Nick, this is exquisite writing. I’ve never in my life read anything like this,” she said.

  Nick frowned, “Why would he not tell anyone he did this?”

  “It was so like your uncle, actually. He hated publishing, but loved to write. He couldn’t help himself; I should have known he’d never stop writing.”

  Nick sipped his wine, “Kate, what are you going to do with this?”

  “I don’t know, Allan’s not under contract with MD anymore….” Her words trailed off. “Allan, why?” she said, “Why did you do this?” Kate started crying again.

  Nick took the sheet of paper from her hand and put it back in the box, “Come on, Kate, let’s get you something to eat. Enough of this for tonight.”

  Kate looked up, “It’s snowing hard, let me just fix something here.”

  “No, let me. You’ve done enough today.”

  They ate a little while later. Unfortunately, Kate did not have much in the way of food but Nick managed to fashion together some cheesy scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. Eggs and red wine, it was an oddly perfect dinner. They sat down on her couch and ate in silence, finally Nick said:

  “These eggs aren’t organic; you’re making me do bad things, Kate.” Nick winked at her.

  She smiled, though her eyes never left the closed box on the coffee table in front of them. Nick watched her intently.

  “Kate, I like you. A lot. But I’m going back to California soon.”

  She nodded, “I know.”

  “I want to explore this with you, maybe it’s a grief thing over my uncle, but I doubt it. I think we both know what this is.” Nick took the plate out of her hand, “Finished?” she nodded, her head felt light from the wine.

  “I don’t know what I can promise you, Katie. My life and work is in LA and yours is here. Maybe I should just go now, but I don’t want to.”

  Kate swallowed hard, she knew he was going to kiss her and when he did, she knew what was next, what he wanted. Did she want it, too? His lips found hers; there was an urgency that hadn’t been there before. Nick wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him, “I want you, Kate.” He breathed into her ear.

  She wanted him too, but at the same time she wanted to push him away.

  Another man who would leave.

  Her life was full of them. But his kisses felt perfect, the moment triggered by heat. Kate needed some distance; she pushed herself up off of the couch. “I-I need to, I’ll be right back.” Nick looked surprised, but didn’t say a word. Kate went to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Sitting down on the edge of the tub, she contemplated what was going to happen if she didn’t send Nick home. Mac was becoming a bigger part of her life than she’d expected or intended. To be with Nick felt like cheating and yet, there was Mac, married and unyielding from his position. Kate sighed, she needed perspective, she needed something to balance herself out emotionally. She had fallen for Mac, a man with whom she had no future. Her feelings were so jumbled she wasn’t even certain. Nick was here, single and wanting her. They could have a future, something that would never be afforded her if she allowed herself to continue to become so entwined with Mac’s life. Kate emerged from the bathroom. Nick was standing up, reaching for his coat.

  “Stay,” she said almost in a whisper.

  Nick walked over to her and kissed her neck and then held her face as his lips consumed her mouth.

  “Let me make love to you,” he breathed into her skin. Any doubts she had faded into the night. She couldn’t refuse him.

  They made love. Nick’s passion was fueled and tender. He wanted her over and over, when Kate fell asleep, he was wrapped around her. As she drifted off, she wondered what Mac was doing right now, in Connecticut.

  .

  Chapter Forty-Four

  It was a cardinal rule that Mac never spent a single holiday with any of his lovers. It was a rule he’d never break. Until now.

  It was New Year’s Eve. Mac pulled his jacket tightly around him.

  He left early because all he could think about was Kate and
that she was alone and he wanted to be there for her. Though admittedly, part of him worried that she wasn’t alone, that she was with Nick.

  It was six o’clock. He made his way to Kate’s apartment.

  His rule. He never broke it.

  So why now?

  He couldn’t answer that. All he knew is that he needed to see Kate and he needed to see her tonight.

  .

  Chapter Forty-Five

  The first workday after the holiday break was always tough but this day in particular was harder than most. MD had been closed on Monday, leaving Mac to his own devices. He did not call Kate or attempt to see her again after his botched New Year’s Eve surprise.

  Mac sat back in his chair, remembering the scene as he came upon her apartment. There she was with Allan’s nephew in hot, passionate kiss. Then, she took his hand and took him upstairs. He was certain he knew what happened next.

  He had no right and he knew it but that didn’t stop him from wanting to break down her door and drag him out of there. He didn’t though; instead he went home and watched the ball drop in Times Square.

  “Happy fucking New Year,” he had said to no one.

  The office perked alive, he heard Kate arrive, as she greeted Lulu.

  “How was your holiday, Kate, did you manage to enjoy it?” Lu asked.

  “Yeah, it was good, Lulu, and yours?”

  “Fine, you know, New Jersey with the family. Boring actually. Did you see hot Nick over the holidays?” she added, eager for news.

  Kate smiled, “I need to get to work, Lu, we’ll talk more later.”

  Lulu tried to hide her disappointment but was not successful.

  Mac followed Kate to her office, “Morning, Kate, Happy New Year.” He said flatly.

  Kate turned, surprised, “I thought you weren’t coming back till later today.”

  “I came back early.”