My One and Only Read online

  Jessica pulled back, but Matt’s arms were still around her, “Is it far?” she asked tentatively.

  Matt shook his head, “Not at all, but it is an uphill hike, and in this cold, we need to get you prepared for it. And you won’t make it far in those.” He nodded to her fancy boots. “You’d get frostbite before we reached the front door.”

  He reached behind him and rummaged around. “I’ve got a spare pair of boots in my rucksack. They’ll be yards too big for you, but I’ve got a bunch of spare socks, and you can keep putting them on till you fill out the boot.”

  Matt didn’t give her a chance to respond. He opened the door of his truck, letting in a blast of snow and freezing air before he jumped into the snowdrift and slammed it shut again.

  Jessica began to pull off her boots while keeping an eye on Matt through the back window. He grabbed his rucksack, threw open the door, tossed the ruck into the truck, and then slipped in beside it, slamming the door again.

  Matt yanked open the rucksack zipper and grabbed his combat boots. “Here,” he nudged them over to her, and she set them on the floorboard after she tossed her designer boots over the seat behind her.

  “Socks, three pairs. Put on all three.”

  He handed her the heavy socks and she asked, “But what about you?”

  “I’m fine, just put them on quickly, because we need to get going. Is there anything in your suitcase you absolutely need?”

  She pulled on a pair of socks and shrugged, “Toothbrush, I guess. Underwear,” she added, feeling her cheeks get warm.

  Matt was in survival mode, “Take only what you absolutely need and can easily carry, and we’ll leave the rest. I’m taking the rucksack and my gun.”

  She gave him a startled glance. “Gun?”

  “Just in case.” He looked at her sternly, and she saw the man who’d been in the deserts and mountains of Afghanistan. This man had been taught how to survive all kinds of extreme circumstances, even torture.

  “Also, here’s a ski mask. You’ll need it to keep your face from freezing.” He handed her a black ski mask and pulled a spare one over his head.

  “Ready?” he asked, zipping up his coat, his voice muffled.

  She nodded, and reached for her door handle. “No,” he said, “it’s going to be too much weight with the wind and the snow. Trust me, the door won’t budge. I want you to slide over to my side and jump out?”

  Jessica only nodded, her stomach twisting. She felt safe with Matt, but she knew there were things even he couldn’t control.

  Matt opened his door, yanked out his rucksack, and beckoned Jessica to slide over. She slid out quickly and gasped behind her ski mask. It was colder than she’d expected, much colder. Even her heavy gloves and the three pairs of socks weren’t keeping out the cold.

  When she was out of the truck, he pointed ahead of them. “That’s where we’re going!”

  She could see something ahead, vaguely, through the storm.

  “Hold my hand!” he yelled over the wind, and she gripped his hand, probably tighter than she needed to. He pulled her with him while they trudged through the howling blizzard. After ten minutes of walking, the cabin seemed just as far away as it was when they parked the truck, and her legs were burning from the cold.

  “Are you okay?” Matt yelled and she nodded, desperate to keep up with him. Her lungs were burning from the cold, and her free hand so cold she could barely move her fingers. Jessica stumbled and Matt turned to her:

  “Jessica, talk to me…” he yelled while the wind tried to snatch away his voice.

  “I-I don’t think I can. Can’t we just go back to the truck?” But when she looked back, the truck seemed too far away. She let out a desperate sob.

  “Jessica, you’re going to be fine. Can you keep walking?”

  Jessica nodded, but when she took a step, she nearly fell over.

  “Matt, I-I’m sorry about this. It’s all my fault if we die…”

  “We aren’t dying, do you hear me? I will not let you die!” He wrapped an arm around her. “I’m going to pick you up,” he said, and lifted her into his arms. “I need you to stay awake.”

  “Jessica?” he shook her, and her eyes fluttered open.

  “I’m okay, I can walk.” her voice shook.

  “Keep talking to me, Jessica.” He didn’t set her down, but he kept talking to her while he plowed ahead through the knee-deep snow and the near-whiteout conditions.

  11

  Though Jessica was light, it took every ounce of his strength to carry her up the incline through the driving wind and snow to reach the cabin. By the time he got there, he was exhausted, his legs and lungs burning from the cold. He knew he needed to get her inside, and quickly. He could feel her breathing, but it was ragged at best.

  Without setting her down, he nudged open the door he’d already managed to unlock. The cabin was sparse but clean. Luckily, he’d been right. It was a hunter’s cabin, with one room, one single bed, a fireplace, and a small kitchen area. He carried her to the narrow, bare bed and set her down.

  “Jessica,” he said, raising his voice. “I need you to sit up and stay awake. Can you do that? I’m going out again to get firewood.”

  She was still weak, but being out of the raging storm seemed to have helped her. The cabin was cold, but at least they weren’t battling the high, below-freezing winds and chilling snow.

  Matt shrugged off his ruck and went right to work, keeping a watchful eye on Jessica. Having a fire was the first order of business. He’d spotted a small shed attached to the house, and if they were lucky, it would have some dry firewood and some kindling.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said, pulling the ski mask over his face again.

  He walked out the front door and followed the narrow porch surrounding the cabin to a low shed. The door was tightly shut, but not locked. He was surprised to find that someone had taken great care to cover the firewood with plastic to further protect it from the elements. He grabbed as many logs as his arms could carry and walked them back inside the cabin. He rushed back out to gather the dry pine needles he’d spotted on the floor of the shed to use for kindling.

  When he checked Jessica each time, she was still awake, still sitting on the bed, and still shivering from the intense cold they’d experienced.

  “This will take a second,” Matt tugged open this rucksack and pulled some magnesium fire starter he’d brought, along with metal matches, both of which had often come in handy during cold nights in the desert.

  He arranged the kindling in the large fireplace, and it lit almost immediately. He let it catch for a minute, and then began adding logs, one at a time.

  “Come here,” Matt said, in a tone Jessica suspected would get instant obedience from the men under his command. “Come sit by the fire while I check to see if they left any blankets.” Jessica got up, though still shaky, and walked over to the fire while Matt checked the only closet in the cabin.

  “Found them!” He held up three blankets, which smelled musty, like they hadn’t been washed in a while, but they would have to do.

  “Now get undressed,” he ordered while unzipping his pants.

  She blinked. “Wait, what?” She watched him pull his boots off and step out of his pants, exposing black boxer briefs. She felt a brush creep onto her cheeks.

  “Clothes, off! But keep your bra and panties on if you insist,” he added with a small smile. “The rest is soaked through, and you’ll never warm up if you stay dressed. Hypothermia can kill, so let’s prevent it.”

  Jessica watched him pull his sweater over his head. Now down to a long-sleeved T-shirt and underwear, he looked at her and frowned, “Well?”

  “Fine. I just, it’s weird…”

  “For Christ’s sake,” he sputtered, and then hauled her to her feet. He yanked down the zipper of her soaked jack
et open and flung it off her.

  “Pants, now!” he ordered, and she reluctantly began unzipping her jeans.

  “Faster, damn it! Jessica, this is serious.” Without waiting, he yanked her jeans down. He’d forgotten about the boots.

  “Hang onto me,” He bent down, and she placed a hand on his back while he pulled off the boots and three pair of socks. There was ice and snow in the boots, so it was probably a good thing he got them off her when he did.

  She was standing in front of him with just her sweater and panties on, shivering.

  “Your sweater, Jessica. Come on, all of it.” He yanked his final piece of clothing off, leaving him standing in front of her only in his briefs.

  “Then what?” Still somewhat reluctant, and trying not to stare at his perfect chest, she pulled the sweater off. Thankfully she was wearing her favorite pink bra, but it was also soaking wet.

  He pointed at the bra. “I recommend you take that off, too. I had no idea you were so shy, Jessica.”

  He winked, then walked over to the bed, pulling the thin mattress off and setting it in front of the fire.

  When he noticed she was still wearing her bra, he shook his head, clearly stifling a chuckle.

  “Now come here.” He got down on the floor, right in front of the fire, and pointed to the mattress. “And lie on this. We need to be skin to skin.”

  Holy fuck! What?!

  Since she lived in Upstate New York, she wasn’t a complete idiot when it came to surviving in dangerously cold weather. Still, seeing Matt standing there in all his masculine glory did something to her. Wide shoulders. Hard chest. Mouthwatering abs. The combination made her lady parts quiver.

  This is Matt! she kept reminding herself.

  She took a deep breath and laid down on the mattress. As soon as she did, he curled around her, his body hard and warm against hers. The fire raged in front of them, and he covered them both with the blankets.

  She had her back to him, and she could feel his chest pressing into her shoulders and his arms wrapped around her, pulling her close.

  “There, see? That’s not so bad, is it?” His voice was soft, and it sent a shiver of something down her spine. “Now turn and face me,” he whispered into her ear. Jessica sucked in a breath and, as she prepared to turn, she unclasped her bra, leaned a bit forward, and he nudged the straps down her shoulders. She slipped it off and let it drop beside the mattress.

  Quietly, and this time without pushback, she turned to face him to see he was smiling.

  “It’s just,” she sputtered, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been this close to a man. I mean…naked, I mean…not naked, I mean this isn’t…” he pressed a finger to her lips.

  “Jessica, this is about survival, nothing more. Now come here.” As the words settled on her, a tiny prick of disappointment pierced her heart. He pulled her closer, her breasts pressing into his chest, his legs tangled around hers. Her head pressed into his shoulder, and he held her tight while they both warmed up.

  “I was so scared,” she said in a whisper so faint, he probably couldn’t hear her. She cleared her throat and raised her voice. “When you were gone so long, I thought…”

  He leaned his head back to look at her, “You thought what?” he asked.

  “I was scared I’d never see you again.” She let out the words on a sigh, and he pulled her close again.

  “You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” he said, and as he did, he adjusted his position. Being so close to her was doing things to him, things it would better if she didn’t see—or feel. He forced himself to concentrate on something else, on the next things he needed to do to keep them safe.

  While the fire crackled behind them, he calculated that if they used the wood sparingly, they’d have enough for one more day and quite possibly into the second night. He was eternally grateful to whoever had left this cabin so well-stocked. There were even a few cans of food in the pantry, and a bottle of whiskey that was more than half full.

  “I should check my phone,” Jessica said suddenly, pulling him out of his survival thoughts.

  “No, you’ll stay here till we’re thoroughly warmed up. Besides, your phone isn’t working, remember?”

  She let out a sigh, “What the hell am I going to tell my New York buyer?”

  “That you were caught in a snowstorm and barely survived. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have dragged you along with this.”

  “Then you’d be all alone somewhere out in this snowstorm. I’m very glad I’m here. I don’t know what I would have done if you…” he stopped right there. He was semi-naked, in front of a roaring fire, the two of them alone, and he needed to keep his wits about him.

  “I’m sorry you’ll miss your meetings, Jessica. I don’t mean to downplay it.”

  “I know,” she said softly, her head resting on his chest. “I love my work, sometimes maybe too much.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She thought about his question. What did she mean? Well, for starters she had been dealt a hard knock, maybe one of the hardest. Being deserted on your wedding day wasn’t something a person just gets over. Through that terrible experience, she’d adopted a healthy dose of cynicism

  “I-I retreat into it, I guess. It’s a good escape for me.”

  “From what?” his voice was soft and deep, and caring, and the feel of it vibrating in his chest, and against hers, gave her all kinds of shivers.

  The good kind.

  “From life, I guess.”

  This time he didn’t reply, but shifted again, and cursed his body for responding to her.

  “It’s clearly been hard for you. I’m sorry about that.” He pushed himself back to look at her, her warm blue eyes gazing up at him. God, what that did to his heart, and other things…

  Jessica shrugged. “It’s been a long time. But, enough about me. Tell me more about you and your life in Afghanistan.” She knew she was pushing him because she wanted to know. She had always had a feeling it had been very bad at times, and she hoped talking about it would help him.

  “There’s not much else to tell.” He looked away. It was still hard to talk about. Not the general, day-to-day stuff, but the things he saw. The children starving, the parents, most of them good people, still trying to provide a life for their families. The shattering sound a bomb made when it hit a building. Then there was the screaming. There was always screaming. Sometimes he’d wake up from a dream hearing the screams echo through his head. Seeing the blood, the loss.

  Fuck, he needed a drink.

  “I’ll be right back.” He got up, keeping his back to her so she wouldn’t that he was semi-erect. He wasn’t sure what he’d do when he had to turn around again.

  “I need a drink. You?” He glanced over his shoulder.

  She nodded.

  “You always avoid questions about Afghanistan,” she said quietly. “It must be awful.”

  Matt yanked the cupboard open and pulled out the whiskey bottle. Grabbing two glasses, he wiped them out with his T-shirt and splashed the brown liquid in them. He took a slug from his glass, and poured more.

  “It is,” he said simply, while he filled his glass, maybe more than he should. But the whiskey would take the edge off any remaining chill, and also help with where this conversation was clearly going.

  Matt didn’t like to talk about himself, ever. It wasn’t that he was insanely modest. He just didn’t think his life was that interesting. Besides, talking about being in the Middle East brought it all back.

  Therapists would argue that talking about it helped, but Matt never found it to be true. If she kept asking him about it, he’d have nightmares tonight for sure, and since they were clearly going to share these small quarters, he want her to hear him wake up screaming and start the conversation all over aga
in.

  Before he turned back to her, he glanced down. There was nothing like thinking about his experiences in Afghanistan to get rid of an inconvenient erection.

  “Here.” He held a glass out to her, and she took it. As she sat up, the blanket drifted down, and he could see her body again, all porcelain skin, delectable curves, and gorgeous.

  Jessica took a sip and made a face.

  “Not used to drinking whiskey, I gather?” He gave her a half smile, and she shook her head.

  “No, but it feels good going down.” She took another sip and looked toward the window, which was covered halfway up with snow.

  “We’re going to be here awhile.” She nodded to the window, and he turned to look. “I hope there’s something to eat here.”

  “I have MREs in my ruck.” He took another slug of the whiskey, and then added, “Meals ready to eat.”

  “I know,” she gave a small laugh. “I could go for a steak right now. Got one of those lying around?”

  Matt shook his head. “Stroganoff, I think, and maybe something with chicken. There’s also canned stuff here. But since there’s no power, we’ll either have to eat it cold, or do it the pioneer way.” nodded toward the fire. “Speaking of, let me add another log.”

  “Matt, are you dating anyone?” Fuck. Where did that question come from? It must be the whiskey on an empty stomach. Also, it’s hard not to notice what a perfect ass he has.

  He turned around from the fire. “When would I have time?”

  She shrugged, “I just find it hard to believe that a guy who looks…” Wait, where the hell am I going with this? “Um, well, is not bad-looking...I mean, is single.”

  He sat next to her. “I could ask the same of you. Why no guy in your life?”

  Jessica took a bigger sip of the whiskey. “I’ve had dates,” she offered weakly. “But there’s so much to do with the shop and the designs.”

  “That’s an excuse, and you know it.”